He Knows My Name
As the months pass, I try to occasionally get out of my regular routine by participating in writing challenges that make me write or consider thoughts I don’t often consider. In the month of November I participated in a writing challenge with some friends to write for 30 days straight. Crazy right! Fortunately, as expected, I missed about 1/3 of those days, why? because life happened. Tonight I sat reading through some of my old entries typed up and saw some items to share. The writing prompt from Nov 4th was "List 10 things about yourself”. It seemed generic enough, but on that day I wanted to go further than just listing my favorite color and foods. This isn’t a post listing off random facts about myself; it is a reminder that in a month things change yet things also remain the same. I read over item number 8 on my list from when I sat in silence and let myself go deeper.
I am afraid.
8. I am afraid that I’ll get close to someone and later the only thing they’ll be to me was an inspiration to a poem they will never hear. I understand people sometimes come and go in seasons, but it does not stop me from desiring long-term consistency. Humans fail; so do I and that’s ok. I tell myself it is ok to get close to someone without building a platform of expectations. Just be.
It is ironic, that the next fact about myself I wrote subtly, but powerfully, addresses the one above.
9. I am adopted by Jesus Christ. He chose me in the pit of my selfishness at 17 years old and showed me forgiveness and overwhelming love. As I grow in relationship and my understanding of his will for me, I know his voice. I am finally learning the beauty of his voice, but He has known me since before I was born. Oh how wonderful it is to be Known by the creator of life and the Universe.
Anjola you are enough; Breathe. *(Insert Name Here)* you are enough; Breathe.
You are not alone. Do not overburden yourself just because you are a thinker. Thoughts flow, let them, but also know the truth the flows even stronger in your life. The truth that you have a purpose, you can let people in your space, you can grow, and most importantly Jesus knows your name.